A few years ago, a friend said these four words to me; it’s not about you.
At the time it seemed harsh and cold, yet it was exactly what I needed to hear at the time.
I was going through a very difficult situation concerning a family member. They were being hurt and tormented in the process. It was hard to watch someone you love being hurt, when there was nothing I could do about it. To make matter worse, it was a small child that was in the midst of this.
I was talking to this friend. I said, “I have watched them go through this for so long, I can’t stand to see them hurt any longer, I can’t even sleep at night.” His response shook me to the core. He quietly said, “it’s not about you, Kim.”
In the blink of a moment I realized my focus was on how it was affecting me. I should have been thinking about them…ministering to them and praying about how it was affecting them, instead of how it was affecting me.
Philippians 2:3 says; …in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Ephesians 4:2 says; With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.
We see from both these scriptures, it was a form of pride that was causing me to be more concerned with how it was affecting me than how it was troubling them.
The Bible says, “Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5
I cannot count the times those four little words have come back to me. Often, I have found myself in a situation where I begin to think about how it is hurting me or affecting me, instead of the person it is actually about. At those times God reminds me…it’s not about me.
He reminds me of this so that I will humble myself and prefer them over me. That I will be more concerned with how it is affecting them. That is love.
Romans 12: 10 says; Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Ephesians 4:32 says; Be kind to one another, tenderhearted.
I hope this is making sense to you today.
I hope you understand what I am saying. I am not saying you won’t be affected when someone you love is hurt or being hurt. Of course, you will. What I am saying is this, make sure you remember, it is about them…not you. Keep your focus on them and minister to them. It’s not about you. Keep yourself in a place of humility, preferring others over yourself. God will take care of you as you do.
Meditate on this:
The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4
