I watched a cute movie today about a couple of kids, each with a handicap, who became great friends. What one was lacking, the other possessed and together they caused each other to become the very best version of themselves. They empowered each other to find strengths in the places where they were once weak. They caused one another to see the very best in themselves.
Each boy caused the other to come up higher, to believe more and reach for greater heights. It was an inspiring story, one that made me stop and think about friends, and the friends we should have.
Proverbs 13:20 says; “He who walks [as a companion] with wise men will be wise, but the companions of [conceited, dull-witted] fools [are fools themselves and] will experience harm.” (Amplified)
Now, when I speak of friends, I am not speaking of acquaintances but I am speaking of those close friends who daily or at least, regularly speak into your life. Who add or take away from your life. Who help you to come up higher, or perhaps not?
Allow me to be frank. If you have a close friend who knows you are passionately pursuing God and his ways, yet they constantly try to get you in conversations involving anger or gossip; that is not a godly friend.
Proverbs 22:24-25 says; “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”
A true friend may allow you to vent to them or even rant and rave, however, when you are done, they will remind you what the word of God says about the situation and encourage you to take the higher road.
1 Corinthians 15:33 says; “do not be deceived, bad company ruins good morals.”
I once saw a pastor give an example of bad company. He was standing on the stage and asked the crowd if it was easier for him to pull someone UP to his level or for someone to pull him DOWN to their level.
Of course, it is easier for someone to pull us down….be careful of bad company. Be careful of ‘friends’ who want to talk about what is going on with other’s lives, especially when they say they are repeating it just for the purpose of prayer. That is usually a lie and an excuse to gossip. Do not fall into that snare.
Proverbs 12:26 teaches us that “one who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Be that guide, allow your friend to vent but then guide them in the right direction, which is the ways of God.
Ephesians 4:29-32 says; “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Colossians 3:12-14 says; “put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
These scriptures found in Ephesians and Colossians should be your guide and should be the guide of your friends, those whom you allow to speak into your life.
Today, examine those who are closest to you. Do they cause you to come up higher? Do they encourage you to respond with the word of God or the love of God? Do they draw out the best in you and cause you to want to be the very best person you can be? Are they a strength to you when you are at your weakest? What kind of friends do you have?
The Bible says we are not to be unequally yoked and I personally do not think that only applies to marriage. I think we need to be wise and we need to refuse to be unequally yoked in marriage, in business, and in relationships; even friendships.
I am not saying you can’t be friendly with everyone, you should be kind with others and always walk in love – I want to reiterate – I am talking about the friends who are closest to you and speak into your life. Furthermore, it is very important whom you surround yourself with when you are standing in faith for a miracle from God or even a breakthrough. Judy Jacobs said something to me once that has stuck with me for years. She said ‘you can’t let just anyone in the delivery room with you.’ This is so true – it is only the most trusted, intimate friends who are allowed into the delivery room.
Therefore, it should be the most trusted and godly people whom you surround yourself with when you are believing for that miracle or that new thing to be birthed. A GOD friend will be a blessing during such a time.
A friend will cause you to go higher in God or, if they are not whole-heartedly following God, they can pull you down to their level. Do not allow that to happen. Ask God to choose your friends. Ask God to show you any friends who are bringing bad fruit into your life. Ask God to surround you with friends who are more passionate for him than you are – they will pull you up higher. Ask God to surround you with friends who walk in more wisdom than you do – they will impart wisdom to you. Friends are important…choose yours wisely.
