My grandchildren are now 19 and 15 years old. However, all their lives, I have had a room at my home that was ‘their’ room. When they were smaller, Bryson had a room because Brailee was a baby and didn’t stay over with Nana. Then it became Bryson & Brailee’s room. Whichever one came to spend the night, it was their room, filled with their toys, blankets, and books. It’s been that way for 19 years.
Now, they are older. I can’t even recall the last time Bryson, my nineteen-year-old grandson, spent the night. Brailee is now fifteen and her life is filled with horse shows, clinics and lessons. Things have changed a lot for me. They used to spend the night weekly and be at Nana’s house quite often. No so any longer.
Still, in the extra bedroom was Brailee and Bryson’s things – Bryson’s toys had made their way to the closet, because Brailee liked her horses and Lego statues displayed. However, Brailee hasn’t spent the night in probably a year, so all these things simply occupied space, or so I thought.
Recently, I decided to redo that room. I wanted to add a larger bed and change the bedding to be more of a guest room, instead of a kids room. I thought perhaps friends may be coming through and need a nice place to stay. I wanted to make it a lovely, peaceful room. I planned to have nice things on the nightstand, instead of toys, perhaps even keep fresh roses, which I love, in that room.
After a bit of a search, I found a queen size bed to replace what was once a twin size. It took me a few days to get the bed set up. I still have a few pieces to buy to complete the room, but I was going to show it to the kids and Bre when they came over on Easter.
At first, Brailee liked the big bed and the way it looked but then she stopped and said, “Where is all my stuff?” I said, “Right now, it’s in the closet.” I didn’t tell her I planned to put it in storage tubs and put it in storage. She kept talking, She said, “Nana, we need to get another shelf that matches this bed and put my stuff on it.” I simply said, “Okay.”
Before she left the room that night, she got her giraffe Lego that she had built and placed it on the nightstand. As if she was claiming this was still her room. It hurt my heart.
The next morning, I sat looking at that room, the one that I was fixing up for people who may never use it. I thought about how Brailee felt it was no longer her room. As if I no longer had room for her, if should she want to be at Nana’s. I took all the pretty things off the nightstand that I had excitedly placed there just days before. I put them away. I opened the closet door and took out all the Lego’s my grandchildren had built over the years and put them on the nightstand instead.
As I thought about how this had made her feel, I began to think about God. I thought about how He must feel when we begin to replace things/ time that once belonged to Him with other things.
Often when face battles or illness, we press into God more than ever before. More often than not, when He brings breakthrough, we spend less and less time with Him. Why? We feel we don’t need Him as much or as desperately.
I thought about my own life. Years ago, before the ministry, I spent so much time with God. I was always reading the Word, studying Bible Dictionaries, praying or worshipping. I even had set times when I prayed a tithe of my day. I didn’t even look at my phone until 3 hours had passed each morning. My family knew not to even try to disturb me during those hours. However, as the ministry grew, the demands grew and my available time seemed to diminish over time.
Today, I strongly feel God is using Brailee’s reaction to correct me. To ask me, “Where’s all MY stuff?” Where are the things you used to treasure in your life more than you do now?
To be honest, I feel I spend more time with God than the normal person. I spend time daily in prayer, worship and studying – but nothing like I used to.
Brailee’s room was created to bring her pleasure. It was filled with things she loved. When she was here, she knew she had a place that encompassed all she loved – I had to ask myself today, “Does God feel the same way in my home?”
Does He feel He has a place here? Has He ever felt I was replacing portions of Him for other things? This may make no sense to you. But it has brought me to a place of repentance today. I believe God is calling us into a more intimate place with Him during this season. I believe He is drawing us. He is wanting us to create a place, a time, for Him alone. If you feel He is drawing you, I urge you to go. Make time for Him. Make a place that brings Him pleasure, a place He knows is His own.
In the story of Mary & Martha, Mary knew the value of taking time to sit at His feet and she let nothing, including all the things that needed to be done, stop her from making room for Him. We need to do the same thing each and every day.
That bedroom, it doesn’t look like I had imagined it would when I wanted it to be a guest room. However, when my granddaughter comes over, she will know she always has a place here. I pray God knows the same thing about me and my home.
